a.. family/caregiver/ friends how can they help.?
To start with don`t ask" are you alright"?, "what can we do to help you"?. Those type of questions only put more stress on me as I am already confused / overloaded !  why try get my brain into more of a muddle by having to think of answers (geess), when I proberly don't know cant see that i getting overloaded to start with. Ok so think before you speak in order not to fuel the situation.

   b..family / caregiver / friends  how to recognize start of overload.??
firstly the eyes are a dead give away.look for the changes in them.. Anger the eyes change to look more fiery this is one off the first signs just before flash point... Fatique  the eyes look tired... Drugs the eyes look spaced out so brain not keeping up.. Emotional the eyes start to look weepy some time before the tears arrive , sometimes when emotional they just look weepy this means I not keeping up.. The eyes will also show/ look frustrated, notice this starting its important you see this as anger may just be around the corner.. Speech can be a sign of overload, I might just start slurring some words this is a sign of fatigue.. Conversation I might loose the conversation get confused, this is another sign of overload. family /Caregivers/ friends all need to be made aware of these point and lookout for them to help me, as being TBI i don't see them coming a lot of the time. noticing them early and retiring to a safe place is the key to a more functional life when TBI.

   c...How to get me to go to my safe place..
The best thing you can say is "Do you think its time you had a rest so you don't overload". this send  trigger message into my brain , I then get to choose whether i go rest or not (very important for ones self esteem)(after nearly 4 years i want control back of me,not to be dictated too) This can be repeated if the caregiver/ family / friend  really think i should rest by saying one of (b) above points again should act as a trigger hopefully my reasoning will agree i will go rest. be persistent without dictating (dictating demoralises being TBI I feel that about myself anyway,theres no need to ram it down my throat) , point out what your seeing in me and feeling so i understand that I am getting overloaded.
If you don't think I am overloaded and just getting frustrated then sub jesting I take a short walk in the garden to clear thoughts would be a good approach.

Ok its important that the caregiver Explains to the rest of the family / friends the above so everyone understands that when I go to a safe place its to recharge my brain and why he safe place it needed to reduce my stress. NOT to be followed and harassed. "Very important" that the TBI knows above too. Everyone should work as a team on this (loose the ego`s).. Using the safe place and reading the signs of overload is the most important point to Anger Management, Fatique, Stress, Emotions etc..
Related pages  of coping stratergies to help this page are.

        a.. walk away                           click

        b.. Changing thoughts                click

        c.. relaxation                           click

        d.. working in the flow of life    click

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